ugh feelings why
the only one who really knew me, 4x17

yes, I think it’s about Sam, but it’s not that simple.  under the cut for length

1. Blaine’s gone through some really tough shit in the last few months.  Sam’s been there for him, more than anyone; Kurt pretty much hasn’t been, as far as we can tell.  So really, why shouldn’t he develop feelings for Sam?

2. As I’ve said before, I feel like Blaine has been more openly/honestly/completely communicating with Sam and Tina (and then less so with Tina after the revelation in “I Do” probably) than he ever has been with Kurt.  Not because he loves them more, but because it’s a skill that he’s been developing in these last few months, when his connection with Kurt has largely been still MIA.

3. And the whole theme of “Guilty Pleasures,” was confessing your secrets, right?  So you don’t have the guilt anymore, just the pleasure.

4. Look at when Blaine sings directly to Sam - looking to him and/or camera focus.  Three times on the line “you’re the only one who really knew me at all” (no way is that a coincidence), and once on “I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry.”

5. Blaine’s feelings for Sam are way more than ~just a crush.~  Sam is important to him (and vice versa) because they are friends.  Sam saw how he was punishing himself when no one else seemed to notice or care.

6. Even Kurt didn’t really see him at that point, his lowest point that we’ve seen in canon.  Kurt was in New York and busy with his own life and didn’t really see Blaine anymore and that’s why Blaine cheated, right, we remember that.  But then he fell even lower, and Sam was physically nearby and not too distracted by his own issues, and Sam saw him.  And that was just such an incredibly important thing to him okay.

7. I think the emotion and anguish in the live performance of the song is about Sam, but it isn’t primarily about Blaine’s romantic feelings for him (though those do exist).  As we see in their scene near the end of the episode…. Blaine isn’t crushed (or even really sad) that his romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated.  Instead he’s mostly relieved that Sam knows his secret, and is okay with it, and it hasn’t changed or damaged their friendship at all.

8. So I think the pain of Now take a look at me now, cause I’ll still be standing here, and you coming back to me is against all odds, it’s the chance I’ve got to take is pre-emptive.  He’s so afraid that if Sam does find out (‘take a look at me’) he’ll lose the friendship (‘you coming back to me is against all odds’).  But because he is trying to get better about saying his feelings, it also hurts that the person who knows him the most still doesn’t know this significant thing about him and their relationship.  He wants to tell Sam his feelings, not because he’s really hoping for anything in return, but because he wants to be known.  And, maybe, to be told that they are (he is) okay, just like he was re: his guilt about cheating on Kurt earlier.

9. So that’s the pain.  To confess, and lose a very important friendship?  Or to not confess, and become more invisible (an ‘empty space’) again, the longer he has these feelings or the stronger they get?  So he kind of tries to confess, by singing the song; but at the last minute he pulls back.  But it’s okay, because Sam got the message anyway - or enough of the message as he needed to start the actual talking, not singing, conversation they needed to have.

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    The multicorn explains WHY that Phil Collins song was selected.
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    There is so much amazing meta about this happening. Also, the original post helped me understand against all odds. It...
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